Listening To: Incubus - RoguesLast night, may meeting kami sa village para sa preparation for the "Christmas Party".
Dapat nga pre-New Year's Eve Party yun e. It's just so wrong. December 30 ba naman kasi ganapin. Anyway, nakita ko ulit yung childhood friends ko. Oo, as in nung may uhog pa ako. :P Haha. I know neighbors lang sila pero I don't usually see them kasi may school. Baka yung iba sabihin, "Sus! School lang e." Pero if you're from Pisay, you probably won't agree more with me. Besides, di rin lang naman ako yung busy e. Sila rin. My friend Ria is already in her first year of college, and my other friend Alisa is currently in her junior year of highschool which to them, is the crucial stage.
Being there invoked a whole gamut of emotions. Joy, sorrow, regret, eagerness, amusement... but all of these somehow ended up being just one thing,
I felt neglected. Di ko alam kung sinasadya nila yun or not, pero it just felt that way.
It hurts. I couldn't relate to a single thing they were talking about. Well, Kuya Jay kept cracking jokes here and there and, we all had a good laugh.
But something is very different. I know I changed, pero dahil may pinagsamahan kami we should be able to catch up easily. And besides, they changed too!
I know I'm not the only one who has to reach out. It works both ways.
It just felt really bad.
Parang di ata ako nakatira dun e. Pero iba yung feeling e. Parang ako lang yung hindi maka-relate. Parang sila, ganun parin. And that's what probably fucks me out.
Pare-pareho kaming busy pero these people appear to do the same things without me. Putang-ina talaga. Gusto ko na umuwi nun e! Bukod sa gabi na (We started at 9:00 pm and ended at 10:00 pm. Great. I missed The O.C. Thanks a lot.), di pa ako makarelate sa pinag-uusapan nila. Anlabo pa nung meeting.
Walang budget. Tapos, ano na bang araw yun? December 26 na. E yung party sa December 30. Sana naman a week before diba?
Yung party, walang formal invitation. Tapos, they were all ranting about how nobody would even come. E, papaano sila pupunta? They don't even know na may party. At least, make an effort to let them know diba? Para wala silang excuse na hindi malaman. Okay... okay... I know I'm also ranting right now pero diba? Sobrang nakakainis yung mga ganung tipo ng meeting e. Wala talaga yung patutunguhan. Haaayy ewan na lang. Ayoko na magdagdag pa. I might not even finish.
As for being left out, I am willing to catch up.
I just don't know if they even want me to.Labels: Life